Log in

I forgot my password

User Control Panel

Latest topics
» ~The Lighthouse~
Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:50 pm by Kai T. Kouseitan'i

» Uchiha Kenzurai
Sun Jan 10, 2010 12:12 pm by Emanyeru Ai Kouseitan'i

» The Uminooya Clan
Sat Jan 09, 2010 12:14 am by Jasui

» Ryoku Kousei
Fri Jan 08, 2010 6:53 pm by Emanyeru Ai Kouseitan'i

» Kousei Clan
Fri Jan 08, 2010 6:49 pm by Emanyeru Ai Kouseitan'i

» Twin Blaze Swords Kattakana
Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:36 am by shotty11

» Sankaku Uminooya
Sun Jan 03, 2010 11:01 pm by Ami

» Recruitment Keiri
Sun Jan 03, 2010 9:17 pm by Vladamir Keiri

» Aizen Levisdeus
Sun Jan 03, 2010 1:13 pm by Aizen Levisdeus

Top posters
Somatsu Kenkaku (335)
 
Kaito Daichi (223)
 
Kai T. Kouseitan'i (216)
 
NG Admin (203)
 
Sorrow Fuuma (193)
 
Ami (140)
 
Rock Kouseitan'i (131)
 
Komi Yononoke (130)
 
Kasai Odoriko (111)
 
Chisoku Nejime (71)
 

Copyright
Protected by Copyscape Duplicate Content Detection Software

NG Copyright

Powered by:

Special thanks go out to:

  • © 2009 MC Inc.

  • © 2009 Emmanuel Edwards (Forum & Design)
  • © 2009 Michael Woodham (Information)
  • © 2009 Zak Cvitkovic (Graphics)

  • Manda Uchiha

    View previous topic View next topic Go down

    Manda Uchiha

    Post by Guest on Wed Sep 02, 2009 10:40 pm

    GENERAL INFO

    Name: Manda Uchiha

    Age: 8

    Height: 5'2"
    Weight: 72 lbs

    Ninja ID: 4754-239S-NAK3-1KNG

    Village: Sawagakure

    Rank: Academy Student

    Element Katon

    Occupation: none

    BIO
    Manda Uchiha was born to Raigetsu Uchiha and a mother that the name would not be specified. Raigetsu is the son of Shisui Uchiha and manda is one of the two twins. Shisui, fearing the Uchihas would envy the twins, had gave them to the mother and sent her away far to the Land of Iron, a place of heavy security. but before Shisui was killed by Itachi the other Uchihas took Shisui’s knowledge and quickly left to find the two young Uchiha who were taken away. they quickly tracked down the mother on her way to the Land of Iron and began to attack.

    manda had lost sight of his brother through the flurry but kept up a fight with his mother. no matter the struggle, manda saw first had, his mother murdered. manda had fell as his mother did from the heavy amount of trauma he felt as he laid in the snow covered in his mother's blood. manda awakens some time later, staring in the eyes of his dead mother. Manda slowly picks up a walk from the land of iron without a feeling in his heart as he would never feel a lost as big as this. the journey feels like time is forever stretched as the snow starts to sting with every step and his sight begins to darken with every imaginary hour that passed. soon manda began to drift off into a dream like state as the brisk air of the winter snow began to take him. a lady appeared in front of manda in what seemed to be a dream. the lady took manda within her arms and traveled with great speed. "she is a nin..." manda thought. manda slept as they traveled to a land that he has yet to see. feeling a warm humidity over come him, manda awoken from his deep sleep, seeing a marsh like surrounding.

    years had passed since his mother died but manda's lost lead him to be more ambitious, if not unstoppable and impossible (hard headed). manda wanted more power than what was understandable at a young age, and apparently someone else knew this... a devious note was left to manda to venture off with the stranger into the unknown. one night when the satellite was in the "new moon" phase, manda traveled...and all was dark. upon reaching the location, manda underwent a pain surgery and jutsu that brought tears and a deep sleep upon him. manda awoken in a bed within the village of the marshes and after much healing, manda decided it was time to practice his new ability. the procedure made manda more malleable and made it possible for manda to stretch his limbs and neck to inhuman feats, making him more snake like. the surge for more power came at a constant, the surgery followed up by his weapon: Kusangi no Tsurugi - habataku chidorigatana.

    manda's life was beginning to unfold as his skill progressed. he sought out to climb through the ranks and achieve the clan legacy before his life time was up.

    Description: manda uchiha keeps black and or crimson clothing on him with the occasional purple. it was told to him that he holds a resemblance to a uchiha known as Madara

    Personality: manda uchiha is some what mysterious but non the less outspoken. his ambitions lead him to new worlds and his malicious attitude lies unmatched.

    OTHER INFO

    Family:
    Shunsuke Uchiha (Twin brother)
    Sendohiru Uchiha (Cousin)

    Sensei: -

    Students: -

    Team: (not implemented)

    Weaknesses:
    --Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotten
    --Tight spaces tighten my joints

    Strengths:
    --Large chakra pool
    --Chakra control
    --Speed
    --Genjutsu
    --Kenjutsu

    Jutsu: (separate post)

    Bloodline: Uchiha

    RP Sample:
    *while within a heated bout with my foe, i feel the edge of battle begin to rise. adrenaline begins to course through my veins soon after my eyes grow crimson. with my sharingan activated, my dexterity for the battle rises and the only thing upon my mind is to decimate the opponent....at any cost. the foe threw several kunai in several general directions near me, as if not to target me head on. i catch the movements of the kunai finding small explosive tags attached.* explosive kunai...!! *the kunai explode upon me. as the foe begins to walk as the victor, a log rolls out from the explosion. impaired by my speed, the foe is left amazed before his death. using my chokuto sword, i give a swift strike clean across his body, burning his skin as the lightning imbued force swipes what's last of his life. as he fails, i take all that i have learned from this battle like a true warrior would.


    Last edited by Manda Uchiha on Sat Sep 05, 2009 6:22 pm; edited 7 times in total

    Guest
    Guest


    Back to top Go down

    Re: Manda Uchiha

    Post by Guest on Wed Sep 02, 2009 10:42 pm

    nice uncle

    Guest
    Guest


    Back to top Go down

    Re: Manda Uchiha

    Post by Guest on Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:04 pm

    (Locked for now)

    WEAPON
    Kusanagi no Tsurugi: Habataku no Chidorigantana - Grass Cutter Sword: Flapping of One Thousand Birds Katana
    Wielder: Manda Uchiha
    Damage: 15%~70%+Paralysis (30%~85% with speed in conjunction)
    straight and single-edged chokuto (partially double) with a black edge and a white blade. the blade's handle along with the scabbard consist of the colors, black and white. the blade gives off a bit of a black electric current as the blade is self imbued from within it. although the current is weak, it grows in strength with the user, although, the blade may be stronger if the user possessed the raiton element. the blade is able to cut through most objects and can send out a electric current with enough practice. the blade has an uncanny and unusual ability to increase in power in conjunction with speed, meaning, with the user's speed along with the speed of which the blade is swung, the power to cut and or damage overall is increased as the sword produces a sound similar to the flapping of one thousand birds.

    JUTSU
    Katon: Gōkakyu no Jutsu - Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique
    Type: Offensive, Close range (0m~5m)
    Rank: C
    Chk/Sta: 12%
    Damage: 24%+5% per post
    After performing the necessary hand seals, a ninja inhales air via their mouth and, gather up chakra in their chest, then spews a large fireball from their mouth after blowing through a ring made by the thumb and index finger of the user, incinerating everything in range. The fireball ignites externally. the Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique was originally created by the Uchiha clan, becoming one of their favorite moves with which they became very adept with. The Uchiha clan also uses the Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique as a "coming of age" technique. This technique apparently requires more than average chakra reserves and most Genin should not be able to do this technique.

    Nan no Kaizō - Soft Physique Modification
    Type: Hiden, Supplementary
    Rank: -
    Originally developed for spying activities, this technique can be done after some surgery and actual body modification. The user dislocates their joints then controls their softened body with chakra, allowing them to stretch and twist any part of their body at any angle, elongating and even coiling around their opponent. This can also be used to make the user's body more malleable and snakelike.

    Shikumi no Jutsu - Death Viewing Technique (Killing Intent)
    Type: General Skill
    Rank: -
    Damage: Paralysis
    Shikumi no Jutsu is a technique used to completely stun an opponent. If the target looks into the eyes of the ninja, their mind is suddenly inflicted with intense visions of their own brutal killing. This results in their body going into shock and being unable to move. This can cause the Killing Intent to be confused with a Genjutsu, despite it not being a jutsu at all.

    Jagei Jubaku - Snake Authority Spell
    Type: Offensive, Close range (0m~5m)
    Rank: C
    Chk/Sta: 6%
    Damage: Immobilization
    This jutsu can extend large snakes from the user's sleeves, which will coil around the target and bind them. The further addition of the user's murderous intent can weaken their target's resolve.

    Hiru Banshō: Bōka no Jutsu - Leech All Creation: Attack Prevention Technique
    Type: Supplementary
    Rank: -
    Chk/Sta: 8%
    Using this jutsu, the user can merge with another object and take on its properties to avoid any damage.

    Kuchiyose no Jutsu - Summoning Technique (snakes)
    Type: Offensive, Defensive, Supplementary
    Rank: C
    Chk/Sta: (size dependent)
    Damage: (summon dependent)
    Before a summon can be performed, a prospective summoner must first sign a contract with a given species. The contract can come in the form of a scroll or a tattoo. The summoner then signs the contract in their own blood. After this, they need only perform the hand seals, offer an additional donation of blood, and use the same hand they signed the contract with to summon the creature.


    Last edited by Manda Uchiha on Sat Sep 05, 2009 3:45 pm; edited 2 times in total

    Guest
    Guest


    Back to top Go down

    Re: Manda Uchiha

    Post by NG Admin on Thu Sep 03, 2009 5:45 pm

    Length: Well for an average post that length would probably be okay. So i have no comments on that. 7/10

    Quality: hmm...the quality of this post wasn't the best. There were some area's where i didn't really get where the action came from. You should really work on clarifying your post. Also don't put so many actions in a post. That makes it easier for someone to counter attack and beat the living snot out of you. 5/10

    Description: Well there was almost little to no description which is why i'm concerned about the length of your post. Did you just pack it full of action's to make up for the lack of adequate descriptions or what. So yea you really need to work on that little detail. 4/10

    POV: The POV is what confused me dude. Like really did you try and mix first and third or something because that wont work. If your going to do first person then do first person. Don't mix it and do third as well. That is not only confusing but thats where the GMing comes in as now you can describe your opponents actions as well and tell them what they're going to do. So yea you need to decide on 1st or 3rd soon. 4/10

    20/40 50% F

    Ouch dude you really, REALLY need to work on this. First work on figuring out if your going to use first or third person, then work on putting in the details. When you get all that straightened out try and clean it up so it flows together smoothly and you'll be doing better in no time.

    *Approved at Academy Student ~ Emanyeru A. Kouseitan'i

    *Sharingan Unapproved ~ A 50% RP Sample isn't good enough if you want to go for an Uchiha dude. Fix it up and i'll check in with sendo to see if you can get approved.
    avatar
    NG Admin
    Owner
    Owner

    Posts : 203
    Ninja Rep : 0
    Join date : 2009-07-26
    Age : 25
    Location : Hidden in the Darkness and Shadows of my inner mind

    View user profile http://ninja-gen3.forumotion.com

    Back to top Go down

    Re: Manda Uchiha

    Post by Guest on Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:23 pm

    damn it eman it still has WIP on it
    im no where near done >.< delete your post

    Guest
    Guest


    Back to top Go down

    Re: Manda Uchiha

    Post by NG Admin on Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:24 pm

    what the hell. dont post jutsu then if its not done.
    avatar
    NG Admin
    Owner
    Owner

    Posts : 203
    Ninja Rep : 0
    Join date : 2009-07-26
    Age : 25
    Location : Hidden in the Darkness and Shadows of my inner mind

    View user profile http://ninja-gen3.forumotion.com

    Back to top Go down

    Re: Manda Uchiha

    Post by Guest on Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:26 pm

    sorry x.x

    Guest
    Guest


    Back to top Go down

    Re: Manda Uchiha

    Post by NG Admin on Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:28 pm

    well you can't change your RP sample anyway so finish everything else
    avatar
    NG Admin
    Owner
    Owner

    Posts : 203
    Ninja Rep : 0
    Join date : 2009-07-26
    Age : 25
    Location : Hidden in the Darkness and Shadows of my inner mind

    View user profile http://ninja-gen3.forumotion.com

    Back to top Go down

    Re: Manda Uchiha

    Post by Guest on Thu Sep 03, 2009 6:51 pm

    zomg i should have went to sleep before i did that x.x doesnt matter now XD

    Guest
    Guest


    Back to top Go down

    Re: Manda Uchiha

    Post by Guest on Sat Sep 05, 2009 3:46 pm

    muhaha im done

    Guest
    Guest


    Back to top Go down

    Re: Manda Uchiha

    Post by Kasai Odoriko on Sat Sep 05, 2009 6:03 pm

    I'm reading this and assuming you have made the adjustments...everything seems to be in check. The description has increased and the quality. Approved unless overruled. Rank stays the same. (Lower the age a bit though...makes you look like an AS who failed too many times...make it 9 or 10 that should be fine.)
    avatar
    Kasai Odoriko
    Member
    Member

    Posts : 111
    Ninja Rep : 0
    Join date : 2009-07-27

    View user profile

    Back to top Go down

    Re: Manda Uchiha

    Post by Guest on Sat Sep 05, 2009 6:21 pm

    Kasai Odoriko wrote:(Lower the age a bit though...makes you look like an AS who failed too many times...make it 9 or 10 that should be fine.)

    ROFLMAO XDDD

    Guest
    Guest


    Back to top Go down

    Re: Manda Uchiha

    Post by Sponsored content


    Sponsored content


    Back to top Go down

    View previous topic View next topic Back to top

    - Similar topics

     
    Permissions in this forum:
    You cannot reply to topics in this forum